Borderline Personality Disorder
This disorder is difficult. Everyday is a battle in your head. Fighting your emotions, reminding yourself that you are good enough and your friends don't hate you!
One wrong word, one look, anything that feels like rejection, is rejection. Then you obsess about it. You pick things apart. It is a war zone in your own mind. Trying to control everything in your head is pain staking. Exhausting.
You want to be alone but you don't want to be lonely. When you do make a connection, you attach yourself. You obsess because that is what you do. No calls, no messages, no meetings = rejection! It doesn't matter the reason. You become overbearing, annoying. Bad enough that you push people away. Then you are alone!
How many people are standing on the bridges you burn?
Some days it feels like you don't have a heart. Other days it feels like it is going to explode out of your chest.
Some days suck, some days are great but you never know what each day holds. You never know who you will be in the morning.
Always exhausted but never able to sleep. There is no end. This disorder is a prison and learning to live with it is the only way to survive it.
#ShubhHumTalks "Photon on a recliner"
No comments:
Post a Comment